Pushing through is an important and necessary survival tool. All of us had some form of “pushing through” at the height of the pandemic. But that can also inadvertently lead to skipping over crucial, emotional experiences. When we have the opportunity to pause, it is important not to gloss over feelings that have built up over time. And as risky as it may sound, being intentional about reckoning with pandemic grief and trauma is particularly critical for organizations. Those that have been touched by the pandemic who ignore powerful feelings will find themselves suffering from a complicated web of incohesion and disconnect.

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As we enter the third year of COVID-19 response, our cultural narrative about the pandemic remains fragmented. We receive messages that the pandemic remains an active crisis to protect ourselves against. We also receive messages that the pandemic is over.

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What we can say for certain is that this pandemic qualifies as a worldwide disaster. We have lived and experienced its impact, with some groups experiencing very harsh consequences. This disaster is also shaped by our identities: race, socioeconomic factors, and ability status can render our experiences dramatically different. It is hard to hold onto a collective narrative about our experiences, including how we are (or are not) “supposed” to experience grief.

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Our challenge becomes how to integrate parts of ourselves in a new, fragmented context.

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Partial Recovery

Many of us are no longer reckoning with the immediate fallout of COVID-19 emergencies. For most, the initial crisis experience, or Impact Phase, has passed. What follows is a phase of Partial Recovery, a transitional phase in which a sense of relief that the danger is passing is mixed with lingering psychological tasks.

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Although some of us may no longer have the pain of COVID-19 reverberating daily in our minds and bodies, the sense of “danger passing” does not mean the end of emotional reactions. As we begin to take stock of everything the pandemic has wrought, we may discover reactions that have been compartmentalized: the stresses that almost “broke” us, sadness over missed events, grief over the dead, the unending uncertainty, and anger over how things were handled when we were in crisis mode.

As vaccination and other public health measures help us stop the spread of coronavirus, many of us will be in touch with traumatic reactions no longer from what we fear will happen, but from the unleashing of powerful emotions that we could not adequately face while the pandemic was at its peak.

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When we naturally begin to examine those compartmentalized feelings in a Partial Recovery phase, painful traumas can tumble into consciousness. The trauma is no longer “I don’t feel safe” or “People I love could die.” In this phase, we start to experience the disorientation and pain of dealing with “What just happened to us?” or “I could have died.”

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The Risk of Fragmentation

It would be a mistake to skip over lingering emotions that were compartmentalized or inadequately dealt with. The pandemic forced impossible dilemmas and circumstances that changed our most routine behaviors. Examples include:

• Leaders deciding whether to continue operations in person, for how long, and when to go virtual
• Essential workers who agreed to come into work trusting that their employers were taking science-based precautions
• Healthcare workers who had to self-advocate for personal protective equipment – particularly in less affluent areas.
• Public health officials who created safety measures from the best information available, who were threatened and vilified
• Leaders deciding when to taper off remote work — Bringing people back to the office left some celebrating, and others dreading. Dread such as this qualifies as pre-traumatic stress.

These extreme moments postponed emotions that were not possible to manage in the Impact Phase, which is expectable for any disaster situation. But now there is an imperative to integrate lingering emotions.

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Different groups integrate in different ways, but many pathways are available. Pathways to integration include honoring the need for active communication, healing practices, and symbolic acknowledgements of troubles we have coped with.

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In organizations, skipping integration puts teams at risk for fragmentation, which interferes with true recovery. Fragmentation can lead to experiences of under-reactions and overreactions.

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For groups, fragmentation can show up as: challenges in regaining trust in their organizations; recurrent memories of the impossible compromises that had to be made; irritability because sacrifices were inadequately acknowledged. If fragmentation isn’t a significant problem, grief or a sense of pain almost certainly exist in the Partial Recovery phase.

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As a manager, it is also important to recognize that communities may have had different experiences during this period. Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color (BIPOC) communities have been impacted more severely than others, both in terms of mental and physical health. People living with chronic illness and/or disability are feeling left behind as they continue to be high-risk in a world that is relaxing precautions. Long COVID has left many people debilitated as they continue to cope with their new normal.

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Finding Integration

As Sameet M. Kumar in Grieving Mindfully guides, a healthy way to meet grief is to “increase awareness of the intense pain of the loss.” We connect to our emotional vulnerability not in order to amplify distress, but to acknowledge the presence of our grief so we can (a) address, (b) tend to, and (c) learn a healthier response to pain. What often results are growth and new understanding that build healthier tools for coping.

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Individual Practices

The following are some of the methods Kumar offers to help increase awareness of loss:

1. Get a piece of paper and try to answer, “What are my emotional triggers – which people, what places, what activities remind me of the intensity of my loss?”
2. Consider “How have I changed? What do I do differently after my losses that helps me feel my personal strength?” This is a clear statement to one’s self that nothing is like it was, but that a changed self can still thrive.

Group Practices

The following are some group methods that we have used in our engagements. These are best facilitated with a readiness to skillfully hold intense feelings. For those not comfortable leading groups like these within their organization, we can help.

1. Open dialogue with the clearly expressed intention: “I’d like to give space and time to our collective grief and trauma. The purpose is to better appreciate everyone’s unique experience. Additionally, we can address unresolved issues that could be interfering with our ability to be present with one another.” Ask your team if there is anything about the pandemic that is being glossed over or avoided. Ask also if there are other public or private pains that anyone wants to express. Tag at some point that “The more we as a team can hold skillfully, the more cohesive we can be in everything we do together.”
2. Provide opt-in opportunities for members of the team to do a service project, participate in expressive arts, or listen to a guided meditation. Tag these as opportunities to acknowledge the ongoing pains of the pandemic and to honor the human dignity of managing difficult periods. Be sure to vet any meditation tracks thoroughly and eliminate any that could have unintended consequences. Greenleaf has a meditation album freely available to stream here.

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If you know an organization who could benefit from trauma-responsive help, please share these practices generously. When we can acknowledge the pain, individually and communally, we unearth opportunities to heal through self-compassion, meaning-making, and rediscovering a sense of purpose.